I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
