If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Randomize
