I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
