Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Randomize