addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
