It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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