69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
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