i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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