I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
