At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
