He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
