I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
