So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
my poor anus
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
