there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
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