now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
