This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
