he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
they're like a gay fantastic four
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
