Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
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