Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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