a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize