Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
