GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
