No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
