Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
