this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
