She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
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