i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I did not marry a roomba.
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