AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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