you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
