We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
