Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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