so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
