Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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