I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
How's work?
Spinning.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
