Rock
Scissors
Fuck
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
