My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize