Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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