I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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