there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
