my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
