Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Is it penis luge time yet?
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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