She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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