Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
