The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
