This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
