Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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