your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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