You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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