Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
he thought i was a dude.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
