i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
