Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
