Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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