No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
