ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
