Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
