I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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