You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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