what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
