just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
