i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
