Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
