It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
