Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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