So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
