I didn't shave. On purpose
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
