I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Randomize
