My friends, they love my intelligence
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
